last year i had a 5 month relationship with someone who was already in a (pretty serious) relationship. im still not really sure how i feel about the whole thing. clearly hes a dickhead for cheating so spectacularly and im not exactly proud of myself for the whole thing but thats not really what im trying to get at. well, i dont think so. lets just see where i end up.
what gets me about the whole thing is that at some point towards the end, i was kinda....bored. and so over it and him and i didnt care. really didnt care that he was with his gf. and when he sent me a message saying that all this really should stop cos i do really love my gf. i was pretty meh. honestly. little disappointed, but fine.
then we didnt talk for a month. and all was well.
then he asked how my interview went. and that grew into a thread of epic proportions, multiple extended messages everyday. about nothing in particular, probably flirtatious. then he told me he was moving and that he wanted to see me before he left. i really wanted to see him. really really. more than i ever had when we were...whatever we were. so we met up - in public, with no chance of a home visit. and it was good. when we parted that day, i was filled with more sadness and heartache than i have ever known. he sent me a message when he got home which basically said sorry. i never replied and that was that.
how on earth did it change so much in less than 2 months? and why now, 2 months later, does it still plague my thoughts every so often?
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